Adam KennyEgo?
Ego Death at a Bachelorette Party is one of the more unique album title’s I’ve heard in a while. It’s also an album nobody knew was coming out. On the 28th of July Hayley Williams released 17 tracks on her website under the title of Ego. They were removed shortly afterwards. On the 1st of August earlier this month, Hayley Williams released 17 singles out of nowhere. Each coming with their own unique art that had a theme of black and white filter photo of Hayley Williams with yellow graphics. Some took it as a simple case of Hayley dumping some songs from her previous albums. Others however, took a great interest.
Hayley encouraged her fans to create different album layouts of the songs and maybe she’ll release the album in that order. As of August 29th, Hayley Williams released her brand new album Ego Death at a Bachelorette Party with the original 17 singles and a new track called “Parachute”. I along with many others have been listening to the singles in my own playlist since they were released a month ago, and have some thoughts on this unconventional and interesting project.
Build your own album! (playlist?)
To start, I frankly put no thought into the track order at all. I shoved the 17 songs into a playlist called Ego and listened to the tracks as they were added. The first song for me was “Zissou”, whereas the first track on the official release is “Ice In My Oj”. It would be painstaking to compare each literal track placements on the album. With that said, I do find it interesting how collective and seamless the tracks fit together in comparison to my playlist.
Pace and placement for an album’s structure is not something to scoff at. There’s time, effort and some real consideration put into it all. You don’t want your closer track to be in the in the middle, much like how you don’t want your intro track to be at the end. I wasn’t expecting to have that much of an opinion on the official track list for this album, yet it’s something I’ve come to really appreciate. An interesting introduction to these songs.
Cold start to breakfast
The first track, “Ice In My Oj”, is actually one of the few tracks I don’t adore on the album. Aesthetically it’s a indie pop adjacent song with some nice production at times. The actual melody and flow of the track is not my favourite. I wouldn’t say it’s uninspired, but it’s definitely a more generic and forgettable track. “Glum”, the second track on the album, however makes up for this. The verse has Hayley’s vocals done in this comical high pitched voice that is followed by an acoustic guitar. It’s then broken up by this synth to jump straight into the chorus. I just recently reviewed Paramore’s debut album on the site, and it’s interesting hearing the difference in how Hayley sings now compared to her early days.
On Ego, I find Hayley’s voice is quite soft and harmonically focused. There’s massive bursts like with her music on the Paramore records, you can hear this in the final chorus of “Glum”. She let’s out this huge vocal explosion in the back of the song. Lyrically the track details Hayley’s mood in comparison to someone else, and how she finds herself being glum and dark. She’s trying to figure out and discover does this other person ever feel the way she herself does. How does this person go about their day still being this light when they feel so alone? It’s a great track of introspection and understanding. Sonically it’s great indie pop track with some simple but effective synth usage.
Depression on a whim
“Whim” is a fun pop bop about the worries and overthinking of a relationship. How instead of getting caught up in looking for how things are going poorly in a relationship to just take the whim as it is. There’s no blood stained bandages, they’re clean if anything. You’re lying right next to the person you want to love, so don’t get overthink or take for granted the simplicity of it all. Melodically, it’s nothing too crazy but it’s simple and catchy. The chorus just being Hayley given herself reaffirmations at the top of her lungs screaming “I WANT TO BE IN LOVE, TO BELIEVE IN US”. Ironically, it’s a track to not overthink and to take it as is. An easy going head bopper.
The next song, “Mirtazapine” is not as easy to digest. It leans more into the alt rock and indie side of things. The song’s title referencing an anti-depressant for boosting one’s mood. Hayley’s sings about the drug as if it’s a women she loves. How she can’t be without her. Going as far to describe the drug talk about the drugs a “genie in a screw cap bottle”. The melody of the songs gives this air of confliction where Hayley’s seems almost unhinged on the chorus. She’s singing the praises of the drug iterating over and over “you make me eat, you make me sleep”. The conflict stemming from needing this drug in order to get back doing everyday things. It’s actually one of my favourite track on the album. The guitars come in with this heavy trash and riff to bring this oddness to the track.
A somewhat weak start, but with more to come
The first third of the album to me is the weakest set of songs. I find the album really begins to show it’s quality with songs like “Disappearing Man”. I adore the chorus on thiss track. Hayley goes through the confusion of why would someone who has chosen to be in a relationship with her would decide to go be with someone else. Hayley’s in a state of confusion about the affair which leads to her belittling herself and her role in the relationship. She details the physical traits of this man with a romantic filter. Hayley clearly finds the man attractive and is interested in him for a reason. She goes as far to say “could have anyone”.
The belittlement comes in when she’s going through the reasoning of him leaving. “You could really have anyone and you had me / Why’d you let go?”, she’s using the relationship to give herself worth. If he chose Hayley to begin with, which inherently assigns a worth to her (in her head at least) and now he’s gone, becoming the “disappearing man”, what does that mean for her? Was she worth what she thought with him, and if so why has he gone? It’s self deprecating, but also is tongue in cheek. The melody of the track is great, it’s something you could easily dance to.
To love and to love differently
“Love Me Different” is up there for being my favourite track on the album. To me, it sounds like something you would’ve heard on After Laughter!. Hayley’s vocals on this track are gorgeous. The production of the track is lead by a synth that goes back and forth in which Hayley matches tempo of on the chorus. The aesthetic and melody of the track is just fun. It’s cheeky, it’s up lifting and has a “screw you” attitude. Lyrically Hayley’s going through how she wants someone to love her differently to her previous relationship, but comes to the conclusion on the bridge that it “looks like I’ve gott love me differently”. That to be loved by somebody is great, but if you don’t love yourself what’s the point? It’s just a great pop bop and is something I listen to constantly still.
Humbled on a night out
“Ego Death at a Bachelorette Party”, the titular track of the album, in my opinion is the best solo music Hayley has made so far. The track opens up with a tender and easy piano that helps kick start the melody. During which you can hear, presumably Hayley, grabbing her keys and getting into a car. When it starts up and takes off, we’re immediately hit with a bold statement from Hayley “I’ll be the biggest star at this racist country singer’s bar”. Narratively, the lyrics here are not as deep or difficult to discern. It’s an ego death at a bachelorette party. A humbling and discombobulating moment for Hayley, as it would be for anybody.
The tracks rings off as though she’s trying to reaffirm to herself that no she is “the biggest star”. That contrary to how she feels or has felt at the party, she is more than likely the biggest star in the bar. There’s a truth to her statement. There’s not that many people whom would be the bigger celeb in the room than Hayley Williams from Paramore, but there’s no confidence in this statement really. Even if it’s true, Hayley’s having trouble believing it. Sonically, the track is gorgeous. The drums bring a fun beat and tempo to the track that pairs really well with the melody of the track. Hayley’s reiteration of “can only go up from here” is catchy but the hook of the track is where she shines best. It’s a great track and I’ve been listening to it constantly (as well as watching the music video).
My intro was better!
We’ve only a handful of tracks left on the album. “Zissou”, the original album opener for me makes a come back. Listening to it this deep in the album actually felt quite odd. It’s a slow song that I actually do think would be a better opener for the album than “Ice In My Oj”. The tempo, melody and beat are just so much more sure and laid back compared to what we’ve been listening to up until this point. It’s an okay track, there isn’t an awful lot to it which maybe earlier in the album would’ve been welcomed, but I’m looking for something different like “Hard” at this point.
It’s Hayley Williams week on the Discovery Channel
“Discovery Channel” is weird track. It borrows the chorus of “The Bad Touch” by The Bloodhound Gang. A classic in some respect, but totally different vibe. Hayley’s take a is downtrodden and emo version of the chorus. A discussion circling “Ego Death at a Bacherlorette Party” has been Hayley William’s and Taylor York’s (guitarist for Paramore) relationship and whether or not they’re still together.
It’s been difficult to ignore the gossip with this album. For instance, the lyrics of “Discovery Channel” could be interpreted as a conversation around getting together with a bandmate. How it could be complicated, the consequences of it going awry and how it would be detrimental to the band.“You said we shouldn’t even begin Unless we know we’re gonna make it” could be interpreted as the conversation on if they do decide to be together. It’s a track I actually gravitate to more than I would expect. The verses are animalistic and brutal as though she’s just asking the person in front of her to not participate in any reason and just give into what feels natural and that’s being together. It’s oddly romantic, but depressing all the same.
The heartbreak of never giving up
“I Won’t Quit On You” would be the closer of the album going by the original 17 released tracks. Aesthetically the track embodies alternative pop through and through. It’s a moody, low key track that’s full to the brim of emotion. Lyrically it’s a declaration of love and resilience for another person. Hell or Heaven, Hayley plans on being there for the other person no matter what. There’s not a ton to scroll through here, it’s a simple but effective track. It’s an honest and loving track.
Which brings us to the final track of the album, “Parachute” which is a new addition the track list, and is one of the strongest songs on the entire album. This song seems to be a bit more explicit about the current goings-on for Hayley William’s. Hayley reflects upon a relationship that is now over. She goes through the initial romance of the relationship. How it’s something she could see in a movie. During this Hayley take’s on the role of a spider where she senses that rain is going to fall about interrupt the life she’s weaving.
The second verse goes through a whirlwind of emotion and events for Hayley. In the past when was to be wed to somebody else she still was ready to give it all up for this other person who was drunk at her wedding. It’s a mess, it could’ve been simple but it wasn’t. It’s a harrowing track really, as I think unrequited love is something every person can identify with at some stage in their lives.
Overall
Ego Death at a Bachelorette Party isn’t a perfect album from Hayley Williams, but when things do align here it’s some of the best alternative pop I’ve heard in a minute. Hayley’s songwriting continues to be a strong point for her. Her vocals of course are never disappointing. The day I’m upset with Hayley William’s vocals on a song is the day Hell freezes over.
There’s a lot of heart, love, dread, pain and grief in this album. I’m glad it was given a full release. “Parachute” being added as the closer was a fantastic choice. There’s some songs that aren’t going to blow your socks off on the album, but considering the vast majority of the songs are either mediocre or amazing on an 18 track album, that’s not a bad result. This album has been in my rotation all month, and I imagine the official release will be staying around for even longer.
